The Pros & Cons of Thinking

Harnessing Thought to Strengthen Us

Happy Sunday! It's not just any Sunday or any regular day. It's TODAY :-) If you know what I mean. Every day is a new beginning.

After 2 days of training I'm taking needed rest and usually this means I replace gymming with going to the pool and lazing in the sun for 15 minutes, the minimum amount of sun exposure required to activate melanin and stimulate 'tanning'. I just love relaxing under the warm, early sun's rays. I read somewhere that the sun's rays before 10am or 12pm are healthy and beneficial. In any case, I really enjoy the ease, comfort and physical pleasure of just laying there and not doing anything while trying to do something - tan. An amusing oxymoron (when are oxymorons not amusing? :-)).
I love it; it makes me feel so grateful that the building comes equipped with a pool and it's accessible in the morning. What a magnificent blessing! Sometimes I swim a few laps if I can disregard the fact that continued exposure to the chlorinated water will diminish the Keratin treatment I purchased to ensure smooth hair.

In life there's always a give and take...I can enjoy smooth, straight and hassle-free hair at the expense of not frolicking in the ocean. Give and take i.e. Compromise. The "work" is never done. We desire and aspire for a given thing and then once achieved it will give rise to some other desired thing or situation. Constant waves of wanting where our appetite is never fully satiated. This seems like a natural dynamic of life, unless you are monk or nun where you surrender desire and devote your life to clearing your mind, meditation, enlightenment and relinquishing control.

A life of enlightenment sounds beautiful and divine and I feel we can be on the journey of increasing enlightenment even in our current modern urban lives. Living in a monastery is not essential. It comes down to being present, questioning your thoughts and setting the intention to begin your own personal journey of enlightenment. Expressing to yourself and to the Universe that you invite becoming more enlightened through life's experiences.

For us living in modern society exposed to the rhythms of urban life, work pressure, family, social engagements, there is a reliable and predictable flow to desire and fulfillment. Once you have what you wanted it spurs new buds of wanting, new ideas, new expectations. You can view it as new problems, or new opportunities and possibilities. It can also simply be regarded as the Next Step. That which follows from the preceding stage or level. And we can count on it - it must be and it will be, 10 times out of 10 once we have what we wanted there is something new to have. And if it doesn't naturally arise then we create goals. This is the human way.

All of this isn't good or bad. It simply is what is...Everything existing serves a purpose and has some benefit in our lives. It just comes down to how we personally experience a given dynamic.


Sometimes we receive what we thought we wanted and yet when it's tangible it does not live up to our grandiose, picturesque expectations. Somehow our marvelous imagination painted a picture far more extraordinary than reality renders. Less exciting than we imagined. On the other hand, many times it is exactly all we imagined and so much better! Sometimes God/the Universe wants to grant us blessings that are far greater than we could have conceived with our limited human thinking capacity. In both cases feeling gratitude makes us appreciate whatever we receive regardless of our judgment about it.

There's a wondrous beauty and thrill in that too because it means that life experiences once traversed never leave you lacking or bored...there will be a new beginning and a new vision for our future self. This keeps life spicy, intriguing, engaging and mysterious. 

This is where the power of thinking and thoughts comes into play.

Is it true? Byron Katie

Since discovering the work of Byron Katie, "The Work" (http://www.thework.com/index.php), two weeks ago it has really revolutionized the way I approach stressful situations. The main tenet is that we experience suffering because of the types of thoughts we are thinking. Asking the 4 simple questions helps to view a situation from a new perspective and realize what is really going on:

1. Is it True?
2. Can you absolutely know it is true?
3. How do you react and feel when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

Her work is incredibly transformative. She has worksheets available at her page free to download and dozens, if not hundreds, of YouTube videos that walk people through real-life painful situations using the self-inquiry method. I love having discovered it.

Thoughts are powerful tools and every single thing we live in life is a construct of our thinking.
Just take any given stress-inducing scenario and ask yourself: Is it true? Can you be absolutely sure it is true?

If you take a moment to pause and reflect on it, you will find that it's not true. That troubling thought about a situation or person is not factual truth but rather a feeling, emotion and/or assumption.

I've done this self-inquiry process on 3 separate situations and each time I come away with remarkable personal breakthroughs. Each time in the privacy of my home and each one taking 40 minutes to work through. This process helps me suss out my ego and grasp it enough to understand, "Hey, what I thought was real is not real. I just made that up and in fact that is how I feel about myself...etc."

It illuminates my real insecurities, what is really underlying the problem and it hits the core of my self-doubts, criticisms and judgments. For instance, I've uncovered elements of insecurity, grappling with self-love at times, and body image issues. Since beginning this process I've come away with new insights and strengths.

I've been able to realize that I want to support myself fully, that my body is incredibly wise and loving, that I will have myself and that we can never really live up to others expectations. Gaining your sense of worth from others feedback is shaky ground. How can we humanly please everyone? Everyone wants something different; it's impossible.

Lesson: please yourself, live your life, be true to your self, make yourself happy & enjoy life.

So in this sense, we can ultimately use our thoughts and analysis to perform The Work to help lift us higher and out of the doldrums.

Depicting the Doldrums in "The Phantom Tollbooth," one of my favorite children's books.

Chiang Mai, Thailand_August 2014 - Reaching a national park with a striking limestone waterfall, pictured below. Darkness in the past can be overcome with constant self-appreciation, self-awareness, and tapping into nature. You can always overcome, you can be happier still...Even from the darkest of nights, you can rise higher than you ever imagined, and higher still. It's a beautiful miracle.

Chiang Mai, Thailand - Limestone waterfall. Aug 2014.

Journey of Learning to Love Myself - Short & Sweet notes - Sept 2013-March 2014

Friday Sept. 13, 2013:

Universal principle for today: 

"The events in my life reflect who I am."

- Whatever catches my attention is trying to tell me something.

- Overheard conversation catches my attention - I'll take the words as a personal message from the Universe.

- I want to find the world that is inside me.

Sat. Sept. 14, 2013

Meditation-Sutra-

"The people in my life reflect aspects of myself"

- Friends and family serve as a group picture of me.

- Each stands for a quality I want to see in myself or want to reject, yet in reality, I am the whole picture.

- I gain most knowledge from those I intensely love and dislike.

- One reflects my highest aspirations. The other my deepest fears.

Sept. 19, 2013 - Coincidences

- Marcus Smith and Holly on Inner Fight podcast last night, and earlier in the day I researched MS and found out his wife's name!

- Yesterday I read about different astrological historical patterns, and now today Elliott Hulse talks about past traditions and different ways of raising families, different family prototypes.

Sept. 20, 2013

Last night clubbing with my friend I met a guy is also a traveler and freedom-loving person like me. 

We are probably attracting those most like us.

Sunday Sept. 22, 2013 - All these coincidences 

Thank you so much for all the ways the Universe works. Today I'll pay attention to the coincidences. Nothing is random. Everything has a purpose.

Sept. 23, 2014

Thank you so much already, so lucky + happy!!! Yahoooo... :-) <3

Sept. 26, 2014

My life is amazing. I desire to fully follow my path filled with joy, love, wisdom and health. I am always prosperous. I am always growing and tapping into my fullest highest potential. I want to express my creativity every day!

Tue. Oct. 15, 2013 - Such a marvelous, magnificent & magical day.

Things I love: My family <3

1- Sleeping deeply and fully to awaken refreshed

2- Spending time with friends

3- Nature, animals - their beauty - I really love it all.

4- my iPad

5- YouTube

6- My very healthy and loaded bank accounts!

7- Seeing new movies @Cinema - what a treat!

8- Fun music

9- Love to laugh!

10- I love and adore exercise

11- I love the way the cute guy at the gym makes me feel - I feel excitement, attraction, curiosity, sensuality, desire + passion & HOPE

I love the feelings he evokes in my inner self and I intend to channel these feelings and go general as it is the same excitement and vigor of love I have with my future BF and life partner.

I love the feeling! Yay! <3

Sometime between Oct 15 & Dec 13, 2013...

I want to hang out, have fun and love all with my heart & soul this blessed week! And then always :-)

<3

Dec. 13, 2013 - Goat cheese, 1 tsp = 7g

Jan 25, 2014 - Thank you 4 the food - amazingly delicious!

Feb. 7, 2014 - The woman's cycle & Exercise

Day 1 to Days 14/15: Hi-intensity exercise most beneficial; Lo-Carb diet; Less amino acids.

Day 14- end Month: Longer, slower aerobic exercise; less weight-training.

As per expert: Stacy Sims

Feb/Mar 2014 - Knowledge is one thing. Application of it is another.

March 12, 2014

I love who I am. I approve of myself. 

My life is full of love & wellbeing + I attract even greater, more magnificent, jovial love towards me. Thank you, God!

I deserve love in all its glory and splendor & I receive it constantly. I love this feeling of being loved and cherished.

March 13, 2014 - Dear Jen, Good morning!

You deserve all the love, well-being, abundance this time-space reality can offer and it's all yours! :-) 

Live a lot & love deeply.

Believe in yourself :-)

December 2013 - Mom visits Dubai. God's gift to us :)

March 2014 - Love is with me :-) Yay

Pool morning, rest day. Sunshine :-) Win!

Notes from Recent Travels - Bali & Thailand, August 2014

Wed. Aug 13, 2014 - Best Western, Kuta Beach

Final day in Bali before flying out to Thailand. I'm so grateful and thankful to life for the opportunity to be in this country. To have the means, health, and all resources, and freedom to travel, explore, experience. Dedicated time to and for myself.

It feels so nice, I love being close to nature. I love seeing the tall, arching trees outside my bedroom window. I love smelling the fresh spices and drinking freshly-made coffee while overlooking the coffee plantation whilst under the warming sun's glow.
I love smelling the dew from the damp trees, leaves and shrubbery. I love hearing the bird's crowing-n-crawing, the wind fluttering thru the leaves. It feels so wonderful to behold all of this majestic beauty with a smiling face, a loving, friendly warm loving embrace; a deep loving kiss to bid you Good Morning and Bon Appetit.
I'm really looking forward to sharing this beauty with my family and friends in the future.

 ~~~~~~~~

Aug. 21, 2014 - "Back in Dubai"

Random Lessons/Learnings (having returned from vacation and not necessarily what I learned from my travels):

1. As a lady, never give a man money because he's unable to support himself. If he can't manage himself how can he take care of you???
   • Since I had written the above I slightly moderated my emotion around this statement. Not that I  had done this myself recently; I had simply noticed this dynamic in some women close to me and it seemed to not produce positive results in the relationship.
   
   
2.  Take the stairs whenever possible i.e. You will burn more calories and engage more muscle fibers as compared to taking the elevator. Little steps and small changes performed on a repeated basis add up.
3. Walk each time after eating - even if it's a short 10-15 minute stroll, it will feel pleasant and make me feel good that food energy is being shuttled into the muscles and cells required for energy and activity.
4. I am Master of my time.
5. Note: I visited a Tarot Card Reader in Thailand and the following was one of his visions: Save 50% of earning and spend the rest. Then at age 30-32yr invest 20% of earnings into property.
6. Meditate every day.
7. Don't think too much - or at least all the time. :)
8. You are - I am - already in possession, in all my energy form, of all that my heart desires.I just have to let it be and allow it to flow into my life with ease, comfort, faith and conviction.

 ~~~~~~~~ 

 Sat. Aug. 23, 2014

Good morning! I feel closer to Abraham and God, my inner voice & my inner being. 

I love nature, the darting birds, the beautiful, healthy, natural, easy, flexible plants, shrubs and trees; the chirping birds, the blowing wind, the smell of Marina water. The warming, peeking uprising sun! The nature walk, fellow walkers & the smooth, patterned water surface glistening in the sun's glow. 

A shimmer and sparkle covering, blanketing the entire surface from here to infinity.

~~~~~~~~ 

Sunday Aug. 24, 2014 - "Hello & Thank you!"

Learning: I don't need as much food as I think I do! Moderation & my feelings - Listen to myself, my body, my sense (common sense).

An "Aha" Moment - Relationships of Dependency - Covering Yourself Up with Another

I had huge realization today. An "aha" moment of sorts.

Sometimes some people get into certain relationships that are fundamentally unhealthy, unstable and insecure. They try and stick it out, sometimes lasting through children and marriage, or not, despite the gnawing sensation in their soul that it really shouldn't be this way; that the relationship really didn't go down the happy way - that deep down, something is "off". We choose to ignore that voice, however, because of a diehard attitude to keep going, to work hard, to make it work and persevere.

Where we get this mindset? Well, it usually comes from early life experiences and parental dynamics. Whole other topic.

Back to the relationship itself:
An insecure person with low-self esteem can end up matching themselves with someone who is equally unstable and insecure (albeit in a different manifestation) which makes them feel comfortable, safe, and less inadequate because they have a familiar reflection of themselves in the other.

In what way?

Well, choosing someone else who is actually deep-down insecure in some respect, unstable and needing help allows the partner who is the helper (usually low self-esteem person) to step in and be 'useful', helpful and needed in someone's life.

They think subconsciously, "He needs me and thus I feel useful..."
It starts with an inner feeling of not being enough, needing to please others and even that enigmatic low self esteem.

This can lead the person to link with another who needs to be helped somehow. Perhaps they don't have body image issues but they do have financial constraints, family problems or work difficulties.

As they connect they each fulfill each others needs: One person is needing some type of support and the other is wanting to provide it. They are both insecure in some respect. In providing a support that only they can offer, they immediately feel there is a unique bonding and connection. Usually the other party will place themselves first and you come second, as you have already an unspoken agreement that they need more 'help' and that you are the provider/helper in the relationship.

It's complicated to explain but the most valuable thing is that I "get it."  I finally got it. Finally.

Once upon a time, we were together to cover up each other's inadequacies, insecurities and dependencies.

I was with someone whom I chose out of feeling inferior, low in self-love, not loving or appreciating my body...Feeling like I had to please to be loved, that I had to prove myself and be useful in order to be loved by a handsome man.

If we are with someone who is not fully living their greatest self and banging abound in instability and uncertainty it makes us (the also insecure, low self esteem person who needs to gratify) feel 'safer' from criticism because someone who is 'less' than us cannot eventually judge or criticize us. After all, they are a relfection of what we feel inside about ourselves. A facade of strength and beauty with a weak core of uncertainty, confusion and chaos.

Instead of treating myself like a QUEEN, I was treating myself like the help - a Servant to my King.
What a bizarre self-initiated, self-imposed, self-inflicted dynamic.

No! - Today I reclaim my power and I declare that I AM IN CHARGE of my LOVE.

Today 

I AM the Queen, 

I AM the Princess

I AM the Goddess

I AM the DIVINE WOMAN of his dreams.

I AM Special and I AM Precious

I AM to be loved and supported by my man, not the other way around. 

Today the question is: 

Who am I with? Who am I ready to allow and embrace into my life?

A man who is lagging and weak here or there in some respects?

No, I have my answer already:

He is the man who is fully present, complete and totally with it. He is with me and for me, by my side no matter what. He doesn't need to ask me for any favors - he takes care of his own self, business and takes care of me as his Queen.
He is Victor and he has his answers; he handles things effectively and decisively.
He is the strong, successful, adoring, loving, trustworthy, loyal, faithful and confident passionate man who will raise me to the highest pedestal in his life.
He needs no favors from me, not now and not ever.
He's in control of his life as am I in control of mine.
I need not provide for him...I provide for me, and he provides for us.

I no longer need to clothe myself with the rags and shabby quilt of a fake love built on insecurity and low self-esteem. I've cleared the mud from my eyes and see crystal clear.

Ultimately, there is no value in being the 'savior' of someone who has revealed a vulnerability when in fact they are fully capable of empowering themselves and taking control of their lives. No one needs to handicap a completely healthy and capable person. This type of co-dependence breeds greater dependency, neediness, feeds the insecurity and validates the self in an unhealthy fashion based entirely on how much you can serve the other whilst placing yourself second in your life.

I look forward and am really excited to welcome the ready-made, complete man that will enter my life soon and become my soul mate. He has his answers, he knows what to do and he's strong. Just like me.

Limestone Waterfall Visit on 17/08/14 :-)

http://instagram.com/p/r0uyGkLYM7/

Above link connects to a nice pic of majestic mountain range scenery in a Chiang Mai :-)

Love xx

Dai Pui Mountain Village Visit - Chiang Mai: "Good Morning, beautiful!!!" (Post of 16/8/14)

Moderation and balance when exercised in alignment with higher values and goals = happiness and deep satisfaction. Visited: Dai Pui, village mountain 

Spectacular view mountain top and across the mountain landscape.

I absolutely, totally, completely, fully LOVED IT. 

I love soaking in beautiful landscapes, the relaxing, refreshing, invigorating, rejuvenating, energizing and deeply fulfilling mountain and nature energy. My new vision and open desire for the universe is to enjoy, in a couple of years, weekend trips to our mountain weekend home in order to refresh, reset and enhance our energetic balance. I really enjoy the picturesque scenery. I can easily sit there staring out into nothingness of dotted mountain ranges, noticing the light birds floating, darting about while the wind gently rustles the flowers and trees, the verdant earth floor before me emanating waves of fresh air, relief and recovery. I really allow this incredible future reality to manifest for me and for us, with my future husband, and we will really appreciate it and enjoy the moments together. What a magnificent destiny. :) 

"Thai people are flexible and easy," as per our lovely tour guide, Lah.

Amazing coincidence: I joined a tour group, and the 2 fellow groupers are Colombian!!! What a coincidence :) we later met 1 more Colombian tourist traveling solo. Then they later met yet another Colombia tourist solo!! Incredible coincidence. I take it as a sign that we are in the right place at the right time. Our destiny is right on track :).

God bless xx :)

Confessions of dating "Not The One"

Sometimes the changes we seek from others, especially those closest in our lives, are the changes that we actually want to effectuate in ourselves.

Similarly, the criticisms or judgments we make of others are the critiques we impose on ourselves, consciously or unconsciously.

The point? You have all the answers within your very own self. Whilst you can admire and appreciate certain aspects in another it doesn't necessarily mean you need to own, possess or have these qualities through the 'having' of the person. We can appreciate someone without needing to 'own' them.'

As the saying goes, "Be the change you want to see."

Accept the other as they are here and now because this is who they are and who they can/will remain being for the rest of their life. Of course, there is also the possibility for people to change and they do many times, however, it's not a certainty.


Truth is I am very thankful, grateful and fortunate to have a loving partner in my life (back in March 2014). This is what I have always wanted, my heart's deepest desire, and it has come true. Someone special with all the qualities I listed and I am so surprised he fills them all!*Written in March 2014.

Confession:

I do not yet have a feeling that he is "the one" - if there even is such a thing - however my Inner Being and intuition invites me to be patient, take it easy and take my time enjoying the development of the relationship, and to give it a chance. Love grows over time and not on trees...

There is such a thing as a 'spark' or 'chemistry' and while I don't feel it quite yet, it can develop over time.

Perhaps the value is to have someone with whom I enjoy being, sharing time, whom I can trust and be myself.

Confession/ Living "As-If"
I want to experience and feel the spark when I see my husband; I delight in feeling his soft aggression, and sturdy masculine energy - we are perfect complements to each other.
We are both deeply in love and have a loving, passionate, understanding, supportive and caring relationship with each other. Thank you, dear Universe, for giving me and blessing me with the most wonderful caring partners in the universe for me!!! I am so, so happy and so, so ecstatic and I am with my soul mate, life partner and handsome man of my dreams.