Scared of Weight Gain; Processed Food is Delicious but it Hijacked my Brain 🧠 - From Sep. 15, 2022 to Now: Jan 02, 2024

 Waking up...I was well and somewhat rested relatively speaking although I definitely do not sleep enough during workdays when I come to the office. 
Then I put on the blue gym shorts and I felt that my obliques flab felt more apparent and protruding at the sides...although I might be exaggerating in my head. 

In any case, I began to worry that I felt thicker or bigger, that I'm losing the 'control' or edge...since normally in the morning I am my leanest and lightest. Or at least that's what I feel and think. 

But it was fine and onwards. 

"I'm afraid I'm going to downward spiral into weight gain, my body feels somewhat thicker."

Have you ever had these thoughts?

Maybe my legs/thighs around the quads have thickened a bit...muscle and then fat too, of course, because they are usually connected and combined. 

Then I went to on the usual morning walk, then the gym...

Now as I write this, fast-forward a few hours from 9:30am to the current 5:10pm...and I have not felt comfortable in my body at all.

My thoughts circle back to trying, efforting and struggling to maintain some semblance of very skinny and lean body and, hopefully, in the near future, to having a visibly leaner, bonier, defined face.

Working in the office, I reckon, entails a degree of more sedentary behavior as one can't necessarily move around all the time or remain physically active. And even so, I do move around plenty by going on intermittent walks to the point where I wonder if others think it's too much time away from my desk and whether I am being productive and actually working.

I think this was one of the complaints of a former boss: "I can't find you anywhere," he would remark. 

In any case, my work is a blessing and I have to appreciate, realize and accept that no matter where I work it will probably need to be stationary or sedentary to a degree because it is likely going to be office work, administrative and thus based around typing and computer work which requires being focused and concentrated in 1 spot for some extended periods of time (at least 15min, 30+mins, or sometimes more if you're in a committee meeting or other). 

I tightened my jeans at the waist with the aim of keeping myself "in" and as tight as possible so there is no ease in adding food to the belly and thus distension.

But distension inevitably comes when I do eat and have dinner for sure. It's normal and natural human physiology after all but I always feel the discomfort strongly, especially since I consume primarily fruits and some cooked/raw vegetables which will produce more gas and expansion in the digestive tract. 

These pas few days have been struggling with gas and discomfort at night after dinner. I think it's probably the sub-optimal food combinations (higher fasts + fruits + some starch = BOMBO COMBO i.e. Not Good).

I feel increasingly dissatisfied by my whole, natural foods diet (mainly high raw vegan but not really since I 'cheat' and veer off track so often). Once I caved in to the animal proteins and processed starchier items like granola cookies and even plain cereal my brain, microbiome and taste preferences have never been the same. I just cannot forget, nor do I seem to want to, the delicious taste and feeling of consuming more calorific and highly-palatable, processed foods. 

The only thing that keeps me moderately "under control" is the fear and anxiety of potential weight gain. 

The number on the scale going Up, and UP, and UP! Gosh, that strikes the fear in me and derails my feelings for the rest of the day and possibly week if I cannot course-correct swiftly and definitively. 

The good thing is that I still do enjoy and appreciate all the natural, whole, raw foods BUT I ALSO like and appreciate the non-whole foods, chemicals, additives, fillers, emulsifiers and all.

As disgusting and horrid that seems to me, it is so... for now anyways.

My brain and sensorial faculties have been hijacked at this time.

But how and what else to eat? Chicken, shrimp, seafood, meat??? It doesn't necessarily feel better and these animal protein foods are also very inflammatory, higher in fat and can be cumbersome and difficult on my digestion. 

PPLC Video Green Juice & Prep it Now to Do it Later

Eating Too Much Melon? Freaking out about Calories (1 Sept '22)

Hello World, 
It's me again... and journaling my thoughts.

The First Meal:

Today at breakfast/lunch (3:45pm) I had bigger amount of melon than what I usually have. Usually I've eat about 300-500g of melon, and that, along perhaps with something else, keeps me fine till I reach home and have dinner at 7pm or ideally I'd have dinner earlier at 6:30pm. 

However, today I pushed myself (for some reason) to finish the melon that I brought from home bc it was already about 5 days since I'd bought it and cut into it, and the longer it sits in the fridge the more mold and decomposed it gets. Hence, I decided "Just do it" and actually it was a very good, delicious, hydrating melon.

Only melon. 

However when I finished what I'd brought, approximately 700grams eaten, I felt bad bc the calories then ingested were more than usual AND I then had the anxious thought:

"I overate and now my lower abs will push out and I'll be a bit more bloated." Ugh. The despised bloat lol. 

However, that was my own exaggeration and assumption and 'jumping ahead to worst case scenario".

I promptly went about my moment, the afternoon, and rinsed my teeth, and then a postprandial walk. It was a good and energized walk for sure although I felt tired nevertheless. 

So thus far today I've eaten or taken in: CJ (60 cals) + decaf coffee w.Oat milk (20 cals) + Melon, 250cals maybe. So total about 350 cals according to MFP. I've been tracking and logging my food for as long as MyFitnessPal has existed, since my college days and I actually started tracking calories and educating myself about the caloric/energy content of different foods when I was 16 yr old. I still remember my first traditional food scale (before the advent of the handy digital kitchen machines) and I weighed 1 portion of mozzarella cheese which was, according to the package, 1 sq inch. Turns out that after weighing and measuring it w/a ruler it was a tiny portion compared to what I normally ate and actually enjoyed. 

And so it happened that I began tracking calories, weighing out the different foods and learning about their caloric values, and keeping a notepad with the daily food record, just for myself. 

Fast-forward to now, 19 years later and I still track what I eat every day although not perfectly and completely bc I sometimes omit some things, or I record an amount/quantity that was actually higher that what I log just because I don't want to feel anxious about the higher calories overall that I would have eaten in the day due to the higher amount of foods. Essentially it is just a superficial effort to fool and quell the anxious thoughts that eventually emerge:

"Oh gosh, I've overeaten today... :-(" or,

"I might begin to gain weight if I keep this up" or,

"Damnit, what can't I keep this caloric intake under control to 1200kcal max?" Etc.

Freedom from anxiety about my imperfect soft body. 

 
What I'd Like:...

Peace with food. Peace with my body...Accepting my body as a fine and perfect, 'done' body that is lean enough, thin enough, and which will not gain weight ever. 

However, I am not really there yet today and truth is that there is absolutely no guarantee that no one will ever not gain weight because it is super easy to happen and actually that is evolutionary and biological tendency and predisposition of the body/brain. The brain/body does not like restriction or food deprivation and hunger, and weight loss...and it will fight back to avoid intentional weight loss and make it easier to continue gaining over time. 

What Else I Would Like: 

 

Reach a point where I'm eating precisely 1200kcal daily and feel fine with that. 

Eat a totally vegan high raw food diet and be happy, content and satisfied with that.

No cravings for animal protein...

Not comparing myself to other women's bodies who I deem to possibly be leaner or "skinnier" than me. It's all so superficial...but alas, it's where my mind goes more often than not these days. 

There are a couple more things I'd 'Like" however will leave like this for now. 

It is said "Ask and ye shall receive".

So how else should I be asking - and from whom? Exhortations to the Universe, to God, to my Guardian Angels, to my Inner Being, to my Higher Self...to Life. 

We all know the age-old maxim: 

Be careful what you wish for... You just may get it.

However, this previous quote is rather somber so I do prefer a kinder, more loving and harmonious tone and approach to this. I feel that the key, crucial advice is:

 Ask God for the Wisdom to know what to do,

how to ask, 

and what to ask for.

And, God, please help me to help myself.

Ultimately, you've got all the power (My Journal Notes from July 3, 2019)

Ultimately, you've got all the power. The center is with you and within you, and that is true of each person out here (in here).

Each person is a reflection of you.
Each person you encounter is at first a concept in your mind. The labels the mind puts on the person or situation.
It's not good or bad - just different.
It is OK to feel uncomfortable - you can feel uncomfortable or be thinking uncomfortable thoughts and still be safe and alright.

Not seeking yourself in other people or other things; not seeking or awaiting or expecting validation in others, objects, items.
The moment you notice your own defensive behavior - defending yourself - know that you are currently caught in Illusion (maya).

Personal Power Wellness: Live Juicing-Fresh Melon Juice! ✨️Carpe Diem✨️

Hello everyone! Getting back into the kitchen to make a fresh melon juice after a long time ⌛️. Better now than ever and the key for today is to "Seize Your Day!" Make it your own day and let it work its magic 🎩 for your greatest thriving. Today we focused on: - 350g Sweet Melon - 200g Honeydew Melon w/the rind

***Benefits of Melon Juice (Cantaloupe, Honeydew, Sweet Melon, Watermelon, etc.):

1) very hydrating due to its high water content 2) soothing and gentle on your stomach and digestion (in case you have a sensitive stomach or digestive issues) 3) Absolutely delicious 4) High Vitamin C (which is vital for a robust Immune System) 5) Containts beneficial Vitamin A (which is great for your skin and hair) 6) High in Potassium which is useful to stave off muscle cramps and dehydration (particularly after an exercise session) 7) Contains health-promoting Antioxidants which counter premature aging, drying skin and illness 8) It is overall easy and swift to make which easy kitchen clean up 9) Melon juice is light on the digestive system which can help you stay more regular in your bowel movements and the alkalinity of your body (which is really beneficial and crucial if you consume a highly acidic (high in grains, animal products and processed foods, vegan or non-vegan)). 10) Melon will yield a high amount of liquid extracted juice - which is great value for your money! My personal favorite is CANTALOUPE JUICE + GINGER AND TURMERIC ROOT :-).

Enjoy your own health journey ✨️ 😊.

See you soon & thank you for tuning in. Blessings & Gratitude, Jennifer ✨️- Personal Power Life Coaching - Wellness✨️

Wellness Episode: Is Food Addiction Real? What's Right to Eat? Confusio...

Hello Friends!

Hope you are doing well. 

In today's Wellness video::::: Now up on the YOUTUBE Channel ;-)  

Personal Power Wellness - ADDICTION TO FOOD? 

Does the Type of Food we eat really matter? 

What to think 🤔 & do? What's the best and are processed foods the villain, or is it Sugar? 

Or is it the high fat consumption that causes obesity and illness?

There is a plethora of data, information, trendy diets, fads and gimmicky tricks and 'health hacks'...

All for the higher goal of losing weight, or keeping healthy, or repairing an ailing body, or to prevent future sickness in older age. 

So what's an average human like you and I to do?

We want to do what's best, ultimately, however the modern food environment only seems to keep us in the dark about how to eat. 

Furthermore, the culture of consumption of low-cost, highly palatable foods is widespread and we are all participants in the 'system' whether directly or by extension through the friends, family and contacts we keep in our daily lives. 

Hence, I think the only conclusion to reach at this point in time is to find  your own  Answers based on your concrete experience in your physical body. Only you know what works for your body and which things (foods & drinks) may cause more discomfort that desired. 

Lastly, ask yourself: 

"How would my ancestors have eaten and fueled themselves?"

As Steve Harvey says on his talk show regarding dating and relationships advice:  "OLD FASHIONED STILL WORKS". 

Going back to the earth day by day :-).

Thanks for tuning in, everyone!

Hope this helps and uplifts and inspires you to an higher level of living. 

Blessings, 

Jennifer @Personal Power Wellness Coaching

IG:  jen_arcila

FB:  www.facebook.com/CoachArcila

Convincing Yourself of New Beliefs that Work for YOU - Example: Be/Stay Vegan or Not Vegan

 Conversation with My Source:

Written: 11 August 2020

To be Vegan or not vegan?

What's Best for me? What's true? And what's good and healthy and balanced...Here is my 'dialogue' with my Inner Being and Source Energy, seeking guidance, clarity and more inner peace (on 11Aug2020...)

JAA: Fear thought - Will I get sick if I start eating eggs, dairy (nice simple dairy and organic too)...? And what about meat? According to some, meat does not feed pathogens but dairy and eggs do? This may be true for some but is not true for me. 

We can clear-cancel-delete that thought and old belief or idea that came from someone else whom I do not personally know.  

Source:  Practice the Art of Allowing, ease, flow and nonresistance to your innate, natural, always-flowing-to-you goodness. 

Allow the floodgates to Love to OPEN for You, Jen!  We love you, we adore you and we support you in whatever you choose. Key word: "CHOOSE". 

JAA: I am currently having Cottage Cheese 100g and Organic Greek Yogurt 100g - and so far I feel fine in my digestion. I am combining it with raw carrot sticks and raw cucumber - which is superbly hydrating! Yay! I also added Raw Manuka Honey and 1TB PB Fit for an added sweet kick :-). I did sniffle a bit (like antihistamine reaction?) towards the PBFit. Once this container finishes I will not purchase a new one. 

The main concept and word that popped up for me since yesterday is Balance. It seems that no matter whether Vegan or non-vegan and the stories they share, some people take things to an extreme and then do the complete opposite of what they were doing before as if the previous approach was completely flawed. It may not have worked completely to satisfaction and may have even disappointed you, however that does not mean that it's a sort of 'poison'. The fact and truth is that there are millions of people who live and thrive long lives of well-being while eating dairy and eggs, fowl, animal foods and have harmony, health, well-being, goodness and etc. And there are also those who do not thrive and need to find a different approach.

The key element is Balance in our intake and focusing on real, whole, natural, non-chemical and non-artificial chemical foods. 

 

My current, logical, rational self considers that there is no need to throw out the baby with the bathwater and there is no reason why you cannot incorporate and merge elements of both diets into your daily life whilst choosing the very best ingredients and products that are organic (to the utmost within my bounds), natural, REAL, whole Foods with a dominance from Plant foods to reach 40-50g+ fiber/day, and fruit daily as well.  The fruits and veggies are fundamental, to me, to ensure I'm balancing my nutrition with food-derived hydration and the fiber from natural plant foods which will feed the healthy gut biome. 

If I don't feel like meat and no attraction or attention to it emanates or inspired from me then I don't do it because there is really no need, except if in the moment it is in your vortex, aligned and you feel absolutely good and no resistance to it. It can be organic and preferentially very moist to support my body's hydration. 

Source:  Remove the resistance from your path.  Let the goodness flow to you, dear one. Nothing has gone wrong and you will never get it done. 

JA: I realize from this experience of just a 4-5 days now having incorporated more dairy and eggs and fish (no meat) into my daily diet, that I have been quite self brain-washed by others perspectives and beliefs. Whereas I started this journey out of becoming Vegan in 2017 due to a dream I attributed as a message from God - for my own beliefs and reasons and not health or the trends or global ecology and agro-business - it turns out that I self-taught so much and researched and learned so much from YouTube and some books - that I am sort of brain washed now about the importance and even imperative of being Vegan to be Healthy.

In other words, I've been taught the belief that some foods will cause me to be ill and develop sickness. Whereas before I never personally felt that in my body, thank God, I just accepted what so many doctors and online peers believe. 

Interestingly enough, I don't actually have any Vegan friends and I have only had 1 Vegan doctor who was my dentist and I was with her due to chance and not because I chose her as a doctor for her plant-based eating habits. 

So NOW, here and today - the key I've learned is that I have to now DE-program myself and teach/affirm new beliefs for myself that support harmony with myself, alignment, health, vitality, vigor, joy, thriving, confidence and ease with my nutritional and daily lifestyle.