Thursday, February 13, 2014

Dream Analysis: Purple Mustang Charger comes crashing down

It's finally Thursday and I am really looking forward to a nice two days of personal, flexible, enjoyable time.

Last night I had a really curious and odd dream.
I was in a car with two other people, unsure of their identity. We were on the ground level and looking up at a hill with jagged cliffs and ledges. There was a purple Mustang Charger making its way up the jagged ledges (impossible in real life however it's a dream). It was charging up the jagged mountain however pulling behind it with a metal chain a Black Grand Piano. It is was slinking its way up the mountain, miraculously.
In my head, seated in the car as a spectator I thought, "We should probably move out of here in case it comes crashing down," and "it's probably going to start crashing down soon...Why are we will here so calmly?"

Eventually, when the car had seemed to almost reach the peek the piano sort of started to get all crazy and started to bounce around like a wild animal. Bizarre. Of course the weight and force of the piano pulled the car back and the car ledge by ledge started to crash from side to side, coming down and down. I could feel the impending brute force coming on us to crush us however I still was curious, thinking - "Perhaps it won't hit us...perhaps we'll be fine even if it does crash on us."

Then the inevitable happened - the car reached us. It had gained momentum and with such force finally crashed and crushed us. At this point my dream vision went black, there was a brief moment of darkness where I thought, "Is this all?"

I then woke up and turned to the other side of the bed...went back to sleep as best I could.

~~
I just checked on the meaning of different symbols and this is what I found for the main 3 symbols:

Purple:

* Purple is indicative of devotion, healing abilities, loving, kindness, and compassion. It is also the color of royalty, high rank, justice, wealth and dignity.
* Indigo is the colour of heightened spirituality and Divine guidance and protection.
* The color purple is the color of the imagination and spirituality
In-depth: http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-purple.html
* Meaning: Nobility of purpose, spiritual leadership, spiritual teaching, regal, power, authority in spiritual matters

Car:

 "The car is a classic symbol of motivation, and reflects whether or not you are feeling autonomous as you move forward in life. If you are driving and the vehicle is out of control, you may be questioning the choices you are making. If you are riding as a passenger, you may not recognize how you are not taking the reins of responsibility for where you are going. You have given power over to the person driving the vehicle and may be needlessly blaming them for failing. If it is a parent driving you, there may be unconscious attitudes or criticisms you have adopted that are holding you back or diminishing your self-esteem.
Vehicle dreams suggest how you feel about your forward movement. If the car is parked, you may have put your sense of direction on hold while you explore new opportunity. The type of vehicle, it's condition, and whether or not you are driving, in control or being driven, will portray your present sense of autonomy."
Source: http://www.inspired-by-dreams.com/dreamdictionary/?letter=c#colors

The Car in my dream was a beautiful new Mustang Charger in bright, smooth vibrant purple.

Piano:

"To dream of seeing a piano, denotes some joyful occasion" OR "To find your piano broken and out of tune, portends dissatisfaction with your own accomplishments and disappointment in the failure of your friends or children to win honors."
(Source: http://www.edreaminterpretation.com/piano-3/)


~~~
So what does it mean when a Purple/Indigo Mustang Charger is chugging up a jagged mountain pulling a grand black piano by a chain?

And who/where am I? In my dream I felt I was both the observer  yet I was observing myself.
Perhaps it is my alter ego - observing my spirituality and motivated self attempting to balance and pull behind it/with it some harmony, balance and beauty? However it was an unweildy process.

The chain seemed too precarious and weak; the mountain too jagged, steep and inconvenient; the piano too weighty, dense and burdensome for the struggling car.
It is similar to when you try to get a car deeply stuck in the sand. The wheels keep spinning but it's to no avail.

I was struck by the fact that I was simply sitting there observing the development of the scene while perceiving the imminent danger of the car crashing onto us. Thing is, I've had these types of dreams before and whereas in the past I would experience agony and wake up in fright, this time I took it all very calmly and rationally. Perhaps it's a sign I am learning to take things easy.

Anyhow, it is probably linked to my recent uncertainty about changing some things in my life. This murkiness and uncertainty doesn't feel good - it feels uncomfortable. I like the familiar but at the same time the same things get repetitive and boring. I like changing things and variety, always eager to keep myself stimulated in some way.

I acknowledge that my inner vibration is not keeping pace with the apparent changes that the universe is presenting me. There's no need to be afraid, right?
It all boils down to our attitude and mindset, and how you choose to approach any given issue.

I may be hesitant to take on new challenges and do more activities however it may be better than I imagine once I get started. Perhaps I will really enjoy; I might discover and express different facets of myself that have been laying dormant. I might meet some new individuals who will be beneficial to my further insights, and I can also contribute to their well-being and journey.

My internal vibration just needs to get up to speed with those changes because my rational mind understands that they are GOOD for me...for my mind, my development, my greater good, my better self, to be MORE OF MY GREAT SELF, to be the deeper, truer, more amazing me that I am.

That being said...
I already feel fine and content with myself and my life and thus I do not feel driven to act from a sense of lack, low self-esteem or self-insufficiency.
It would seem like I am thinking of taking on the world but not so...I am simply contemplating:

- Volunteering weekly on Fridays for 2.5 hours.
- Possibly taking a training that will take up the whole weekend and part of Thursday afternoon
- Volunteering
- Taking an online Masters in Education, Teacher course
- Taking a part-time Masters in Ed course in Dubai...it would take 2+ yrs but it can be done.
- Going on Himalayan yoga spiritual retreat in April


For some reason, though, it all just doesn't feel right. The effort, struggle, attempts...ugh. I repels me. I want to take it easy, I want to enjoy, I want to be FREE. I want to enjoy my free time easily and conveniently. I don't want such heavy commitments.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Controlled Chaos: Letting go

After pouring my heart and soul into yesterday's post, one of angst about the future, I finished the day with a sentiment of 'letting go' and leaving it to 'the manager' - the force out there.

There are many circumstance, factors and elements that we cannot influence so the best and probably only thing to do is to focus on what you can control. That is what Steve Covey proposes in his book "7 Habits of Highly Effective (or successful?) people". There is the area of influence and the rest which is out of our influence. Why fret about aspects beyond your control?

For me it's challenging to let go and ignore things that bother me. It's especially true when I care. Guess moving forward I should ask myself, "Do I really care about this??"

Anyways, after facing some anomalous long traffic on the slip road home, I finally reached and realized that I enjoy preparing my dinner and savoring each delightful morsel. I like the routine of my life, I appreciate the small steps for after all it is routine that makes up our daily lives. Even the hard-charging celebrities, officials, businesspeople have certain 'routines'. Even in chaos there is structure.

While I spent the day in a rather sober mindset I concluded the day going through my nightly cleansing bedtime ritual considering that in the end, I hope to at least set up in this life the good steps and deeds that will allow me to enjoy even greater happiness and well-being in the next life. The way things are currently going suit me - I am grateful - and even if I don't fulfill all of my potential in this life, well I have done some neat things thus far and I'm proud and content with that.

We can always get another shot, if you believe in reincarnation, and I believe in it mostly. Giving myself the freedom and ease to let go and allow for the greater things in the next life is liberating. NB. I am not talking about the biblical "next life paradise..." but rather another life spent in the physical realm.
How can I be sure there is a next life? Many little signs and feelings have accumulated so far that I feel it's true for me. And since I am no yogi, certainly not yet, thus the chances of reaching that 'nirvana' and escaping the Wheel of Rebirth are still indeterminate. I'm working with what I have.

Magically, things happen...

  • My past life


I think in a past life I was definitely a mother and wife, with maybe 3 kids and a husband whom I loved very much. According to an astrology book I read, in my past life I was too devoted to my husband, self-sacrificing, depended on his validation to feel significant and found it difficult to love me for myself. That sorta feels right because in the early years of my life I definitely felt a very strong desire to have a partner and an agonizing longing for companionship. When I did have a serious relationship I indeed put him first and devoted my heart and soul to him. Having a partner made me feel significant, even if it wasn't a really healthy and positive relationship.

Today I am happy to acknowledge that I feel quite different and am enjoying my life on my own while of course still desiring to meet a special man. The main difference is I don't feel desperation or melancholy longing. It's more like,

"hey, if he shows up that's amazing and awesome, however, in the meanwhile I'm not gonna settle and I just really want to love myself over all other things, have fun and deeply enjoy my life."


///

After yesterday's ruminations, I now feel like I want to simply go with the flow and trust the process of life. Putting the best of myself out there and allowing things to be without exerting force. They say that eventually the things that are really 'you' will match up with your physical/felt reality and you will be in that setting no matter what.

So, if my true ME is to stay in Dubai and develop professionally and financially here, whilst enjoying the lifestyle and freedom, then that is how it will be. If this setting at some point no longer matches/harmonizes with my inner being and inner truth, then the external circumstances will change.

It is all a fluid and evolving scenario - the life experience.

///
  • GYM TIME = FUN TIME


I went to the gym this morning and I really had fun. It was Biceps and Triceps with some cardio boosts to get the blood and endorphins pumping. Yay.
I love being around friendly and familiar faces, friends, kind words, positive gestures. It is encouraging and supportive. That's also why I like the gym environment. You consistently show up and you will connect with like-minded folks. Relationships are fluid.
I've been thinking that the ones we experience and ultimately value need not be so deep or what we label as "significant" - even the folks we see fleetingly on an almost daily basis share a relationship with us. There's no need to discriminate, label or rank them. Sure, mostly we want that deeper connection with some or one other...however, when you don't have the opportunity for that, you start to feel like you just need to accept, value and allow the 'lighter' bonds to develop and have merit as are. They are wonderful gifts of life on the expat's journey.

I will say this: Living alone and as an expat obliges/allows you to seek more connections and develop different relationships. When we have our family we are cozier at home and less eager or stirred to forge new connections. At least in my experience.

So I acknowledge and appreciate that this time as single, independent young woman compels me to get out there, mix it up and try different things. And that means I grow, expand, evolve bit by bit.
Shedding the coats of self-protection, doubt, uncertainty, fear and unease.
Allowing self-love, compassion and trust to blossom from within...
Allowing myself to really embrace the elusive concept of 'faith'...
permitting evolution and maturity to settle in...
Learning how to live...
Trying to take it easy and lighten up

My new favorite expression is "Whatever"...I really love to use it when something doesn't quite turn out the way I thought I wanted it to. 

For instance, saw a cute guy that really got your heart pumping - then it turns out he's already in a relationship. 
Bummer...
Whatever! 

It amuses me a lot and I love to embrace this new phrase when it fits the situation - circumstances that don't really matter in the big scheme of things. It's perfect - "whatever".



Monday, February 10, 2014

Getting too complacent? Hesitant about a new challenge.

There is and will always be something lacking, something missing - that which is not had, not yet.

Anyways, what to do? Just focus on what is here now and that is all that matters. 


Recently I've been thinking and wondering if at this stage in my life I've become too complacent, too lazy, too comfortable in my comfort zone.

I love my life, I'm happy with the way I live today. I have a good job, nice friends, a loving family although they are too far away for us to really share and express our love; I have a nice apartment, I have privacy, space, freedom and security; I pamper myself; I exercise as much as I want.

However an unease has crept into my psyche, which the notion that I already attended an Ivy-league undergrad university no longer seems to placate.

A conversation last week with my pseudo-mentor (my boss, unofficially - he isn't aware he's my mentor) got me thinking a lot about what I'm doing with my life, where I want to steer my future and what I want to do after being an Executive Assistant. It's tough for me to answer in details, "What do you want?"

I want to be happy. I want to be healthy, I want to enjoy every day of my life. I want to love and be loved, I want to be protected; I want to thrive and have fun. I want to lead a pleasant, low-stress life; I also want to fulfill my highest potential, I want to feel satisfied and fulfilled with myself, my activities, the work I am doing. I want to live the now  and it's impossible do so when you start thinking about the future!!

Up til last week, 1 week ago exactly, everything was honky-dory. Since then, though, the age-old arduous, didactic and somewhat painful process of 'self-examination' and thinking about my future - next steps - has been pressing my brain.

Suddenly I feel like I'm not doing enough. Like I have to reflect and decide on what my next stage in life will be. It's not easy or simple for me because when it comes to these heavy, important-seeming, self-centered topics I treat it with such importance and like a life-death judgment...I always want important life choices to be perfect - don't we all?

Perhaps time is not wasting away second by second, despite feeling this way. Now is as good a time as ever to take a new step, move ahead and move on with my life.

So what do I do after being an Assistant?

I want many things: I want to be a public speaker, I want to be a teacher, I want to present, I want to help and work with others in a coach/mentor capacity; I want to learn more and be around intellectual people; I want to enhance my vocabulary and I want to once again feel that proper grammar and intelligent discourse is valued and expected, and not fluid or variable.

I want my brain to remain nimble, alert.

I want to make my life and myself significant.
Don't we all?

Today at 27 years old I still have time. However, I'll be honest - I love the comfort of the things I currently enjoy in my life. I love getting regular massages at decent rates, manicure/pedicure at the salon on normal basis, going to the beach on mostly any weekend if I wish; tanning. I love my apartment, cooking my dinner, having the peace, ease and privacy of a professional/adult' lifestyle... I also love sleeping well and peacefully, 7-8hr. If I consider my College experience, it was all rather extreme, stressful, hellish, lonely, and painstaking. However, it was undeniably a necessary experience, and one which I am glad happened back then when it did.

I'm mentioning these things as they contrast with the other, new, intimidating idea I am holding: Going back to graduate school in the US for a degree in International Relations/Policy, International Development/Foreign Service. Typical me, I go big when it comes to education and career...I just don't seem to find a suitable educational option here in the UAE. Once you've attended a very prestigious university you want the same caliber again. No pride or arrogance, just keepin' it real... It's about the quality and substance.

It would be financially significant to go back to school and relinquish a regular paycheck. Then there is the change in weather - in the US Northeast there are 2 meager warm months with remaining year of gloom and cold. I'm just being real, and these are but a few of the several life changes it would represent.

Many times coaches and helpful people will posit: Instead of thinking about what you're losing, think about what you are gaining with this new change.

What would I be gaining?
Continuing my education, deepening professional and academic self-development; working towards a higher level of profession and career; being exposed to new ideas, new people, new places, new challenges.
Perhaps even, an evolved different me?

But to be frank...I'm don't necessarily feel excited about meeting new people although I'm sure we would enjoy meeting each other. New ideas appeal more to me because my brain gets excited with critical thinking stimulus. These are all just words. There are just too many things.

Spiritually - It's said that happiness and peace lie within you, and you bring it to any moment wherever you may be, whatever you might be doing.
So do I need to uproot myself once more for a complete life shift if I can theoretically have that peace already, now? I do feel that satisfaction and peace, yet, I am so young - it feels like it's come relatively soon (thankfully) but then what more can I do with my years on earth?

See, the thing is I don't think about starting a family at all. I do desire to meet my perfect partner and get married, and from there we would share our lives without necessarily having kids. Just the two of us, enjoying life and being the best versions of ourselves in this life.

Since I have not met anyone special in these past 3.5+ years in Dubai, I don't feel like there is anyone I can really call my family here, and that actually makes me feel sad because I realize I don't have a super strong reason to stay here. I have wonderful, kind friends, for sure, however we all know what we mean when we say family - those who live with you each and every day, morning to night, and for women it is the husband. For now my family and roots are in NY, and that's how it will remain until the day I get married, who knows when. Perhaps the reason I have not met anyone special in this place which I love is because I am meant to move on with myself and continue attaining other things, in another place. Well, that also makes me sad and melancholy because it makes me consider leaving this city which I enjoy, and also because it implies that I have more time to wait before I connect with a loving, romantic life partner. I guess I will keep waiting.

Well, enough sad thoughts :)
The new ideas still remain...I am feeling a bit confused about what my next step will be however I am sure I will eventually find some clarity. That's what always happens.
The good thing is I've already experienced such murky, uncertain life-direction experiences, and today I am older and wise, more experienced, and that time of life lived is very helpful.


If I am truly honest with myself, partly I know what I should do, what is right for me. It means giving up all these things I have right now and starting something new, a different place. Like a horse with blinders, I can only see one door into the next room. And I know there are other doors but for some reason I like this door, I am attracted to it - and it is the slightly more complicated one but it's the one that calls out my name.
.......:::::: Jenniferrrrrr :::::.....
Something to consider: Horse Blinders - Without them a horse could run amok.

No matter what, I hope that I have sufficient wisdom and experience to face this new chapter in life with courage, joy, gratitude and a fun attitude. Dear God, one request - Can I at least have fun while I do it all?? :) That would be great.

Let's see what tomorrow brings - hopefully more flashes of insight and greater clarity. I trust myself and I trust that I have great things to express. Things are always working out for me. Bisous xx

Sunday, February 9, 2014

"The Gentle Gardener" - poem by J.Arcila

The Gentle Gardener

He's always there,
stroking the green leaves
skilled and dextrous hands
full of peace and benevolence.

He looks up, our gazes meet-
"Good morning, friend"

Such beautiful eyes
this mild, gentle man
Crystal blue or sea green,
as if his inner being has completely subsumed into the garden
and that gives him great peace.

All around him there is silent growth,
the tender essence of nature's vitality.

Today he cuts and prunes,
so tomorrow it may grow.
then again he shall cut and prune
and once more they assume a harmoniously docile ensemble.

Sunlight splashes the leaves, drapes the palms,
Taps the shrubs
infusing each cell with a stellar buoyancy.

The gentle gardener saunters to and fro,
full of a slow determination,
an apprentice to God's work.
Nature's Beauty & Bounty. Source: http://thebressinghamgardens.com/the-gardens/

Self-experimentation: Decaf

Sometimes Mother Nature has other plans in store for us all. 

Today is shaping up to be a wonderful day so far - it's the first of the week, and while Sundays (Mondays) can have us feeling a bit disoriented, dazed or fatigued, I've been noticing the recently I am really well prepped for the beginning of the new work week. It feels great.
I think it's because I have good weekends, really enjoyable weekends, and thus I feel refreshed and eager to resume a new work week. Sometimes I feel like the weekly cycles are just that - cycles. A cycle is inherently repetitive...so in order to redirect sensations of ennui, I've been listening to motivational podcasts, uplifting information and thus helping myself to view each day in a positive light. Specifically, that each day is full of new potential, surprises, unexplored possibilities and brimming with my creative capacity. I think that each day can be made even more significant and unique by creating something new. Perhaps writing a new poem, a new blog entry, a new article, or for those who are more artistic - creating a piece of art or taking some pictures that represent an artistic view on things that others may not capture at first glance.

I was hoping to go rollerblading this morning for a change however it was raining quite heavily and thus plans changed. I still had a window of opportunity to get a workout in, if only I scooted to the gym. I had an awesome HIIT cardio session on the treadmill, 45mins and I felt really uplifted. I normally prefer to workout for 1.5 hours to feel like I'm doing something, however, the experts all agree - you should workout even when you're strapped for time: 15min, 20 mins, 30mins... So considering I had 1 hour, it was an opportunity goldmine. 

You just have to identify, decide and go for it.


DECAF COFFEE EXPERIMENT
Since last week I am trying to stay on decaf coffee in the morning pre-workout to see what changes I experience in my body and mood. Caffeine causes our adrenal system to get into high-gear in order to clean it out of system. Add to that the stress and cortisol induced by exercise, work stress, relationship and life/road stress, and you can see how adrenal fatigue easily manifests and can take a toll unless you actively apply relaxation techniques (yoga, meditation, deep breathing, massage, and such). 
Adrenal fatigue impacts energy levels and also sleep. And so, last week I had decaf coffee Friday-Wednesday. Everyone says that missing your regular cup o'Joe will make you feel cranky, moody or else "not yourself". I admit, the first 2-3 days that I was going sans-caffeine I did feel slightly moodier, 'off' and like I was missing that extra zest or fire. In fact, one of my friends noticed during our lunch together that my eyes were a bit tired, as if I had not slept well. I had slept just fine, however it was my first workday without the caffeine. Anyhow, I just got on with it. The more we live, the more I realize that you just have to crack on and not get too attached to a minor physical temporary discomfort since it's ephemeral, and there will be discomforts anyways so it's more about the mental strength of facing that unease, accepting it and overcoming it/moving past it.

In terms of exercise:  At first, in the beginning of my workout I was a bit calmer than usual however by the time I was 30mins in, I was energized as I normally am and pushed on. In any case, I rationalized that in reality the energy for the weight I'm moving comes from muscle glycogen stores, and these were replenished since I have my oats pre-workout. So basically, I can manage well w/Decaf coffee before a workout. Yes, Caffeine has that desirable fat-burning mechanism...well, I just have to trust that I am working out and giving it my best shot to build muscle which will in turn increase my metabolically active lean body mass and thus burn more calories and fat overall throughout the day.

It's recommended to avoid caffeine after your workout because your body's cortisol levels have been elevated by the exercise and thus you want to avoid further increasing cortisol production since it wouldn't be beneficial in the post-workout window.

Excessively elevated Cortisol --> Belly fat!

How I felt after 6 days caffeine-free:

Wednesday night, Feb 5, completing the 6th day caf-free, I slept amazingly well. So deep, full and wonderfully. I awakened on Thursday eager and joyous to seize the day and attack my full-body circuit workout. It was awesome.

These days, I am really well-energized for my workouts and sleeping well. Overall, I think comes down to prioritizing sleep 7-8 hours per night, cutting the caffeine, and I also take Valerian Root, 5-HTP, and Magnesium at night pre-bedtime. Keeping a regular, consistent sleep/wake schedule might also be beneficial since the body is allowed to maintain a healthy, stable rhythm of bodily processes. I also don't smoke or drink alcohol...

The oats+protein powder pre-workout are my staple now in the morning, and it's been really pleasant to have this meal in my nutrition. I added the oats (30g carbs) on December 17, 2013 (almost 2 full months ago) after reading Layne Norton's article "The Ultimate Cutting Guide". So let's see. Since then, I've also incorporated 1 TB milled flaxseed and 3g Black Chia Seeds into the Oats to deepen the nutrition and make the plain oats more exciting. I add 1/4 Tsp Sea Salt and mix different spices such as nutmeg, all-spice, cloves, cardamom, coriander, and cinnamon of course!

Oats are yummy and good all around. Simple, quick and nutritious - a real power-food in my kitchen.

Other power-foods in my kitchen aka favorites:
- Chia seeds, flaxseed, coconut oil, coconut butter (manna), cinnamon, dark unsweetened cocoa, celery, spinach, ginger, nuts, and Raw Protein powder (although I love the other commercial protein powders that are not so chemical-free). These are the ones that first come to mind.

Eating well and nutritiously is satisfying, fulfilling and medicinal - I love it! 

Hippocrates: “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Living on Repeat? Repetition, Passion, Creativity


Each day feels like a new beginning and a new blessing. However, there are some days when I wake up and it also feels like I'm on 'repeat'. I asked my friends if they feel the same way sometimes, and it turns out I'm not the only one with the "Groundhog Day" syndrome (reference to Bill Murray's 1993 Classic "Groundhog Day" movie, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048/"

I remember watching that movie as a little girl, I was 7, and it was entertaining then, although I wasn't old enough to appreciate that the movie was artfully and comically illustrating the sensation of living life on repeat.It seems that routine is inevitable once you get settled into life, and even when you add variety to the mix, even then there is routine and a cyclical nature to the routine. 

Even variety has a routine, and that's part of life.

Most days I don't wake up feeling like it's the same day; actually 95% of the time I awaken with eagerness, gratitude and appreciation that it's a new day, a new beginning, a fresh start. I am always enthused to prepare my coffee, take my supplements/vitamins, and have my pre-workout outs while listening to an interesting podcast, Ted Talk or other enlightening/entertaining YouTube video. Mornings are awesome. You are fresh, and anything is possible. Indeed, the world in this one day is brimming with potential and surprises.

The moments when I feel like I'm repeating life is when I experience lesser passion or excitement for some reason; perhaps lacking the excitement of romance  :-) Romance is definitely exciting. I love me some good, yummy, exhilarating, heart-rate pumping, butterflies-in-your-stomach romance.

The most important thing to appreciate is that life is what we make it, each day is our own creation and it comes down to including in it some of the main activities we enjoy. Even while we have to work, and we are not all doing something that fills us with joy or passion - it's a job to live and pay the bills - we can still manage to include activities that please us. Sometimes that means sacrificing here and there. 
For instance, I love to train to I wake up earlier than I need to so I can dedicate enough time to training before work. 
Training before work gives me relief and satisfaction which I carry in my spirit for the rest of the day. It's swell. 

As I'm preparing to leave the office now, another day completed work-wise,  I acknowledge I had completely new experiences, new thoughts, new sensations. Some of it had to do with conversations and also with how I view certain relationships and people I see every day, or almost daily.

We can definitely expand each day, and that means each day is unique and thus not a mere repetition. It comes down to how far our mind chooses to plunge into the day's opportunities and how far it will be open to creating, or entering, new circumstances. 

I constantly affirm to the universe that I am open to the circumstances, ideas, thoughts, people and situations that will enhance my quality of life, my personal development and my ability to continue living authentically and joyfully.

I am not so clear yet what I will be doing in 1 year, and certainly not in 3 years, or 5. However, I'm taking it by the day, toddler steps, whilst understanding that I am already an adult, I have established a very solid foundation through education, work experience and the current resources/support my company is offering me. This means I can accelerate and move faster than otherwise...This means I have an opportunity at my fingertips.
I want to seize the opportunity and really evolve to be an even better, stronger and joyful, resplendent, fulfilled person. To utilize my qualities and skills, all of them, applying them in a useful, enjoyable and satisfying way, whilst enjoying life and the people with whom I share it.

This is the wish I've already submitted to the Universe and I know it hears me loud and clear - she hears me each and every time...The other key ingredient is for me to align my energy, to align my own self to allow in what the universe is wanting to give me, and to accept in eagerness, enthusiasm and grace (rather than overwhelming myself).

I want to channel my creativity in a useful, fun, enjoyable, creative, content-producing way. And to have a life-long passion I can pursue professionally, and delight in every second that I'm doing so.


///


ps.
5 Feb 2013 - The workout! 6:45-8:15am

Upper body morning workout, following Jamie Eason's 30-Day Total-Body WO: 
Seated DB Shoulder Press - 15lbx10r 
DB Skullcrushers - 15lb/hand x10r + Narrow hold Chest pumps, 20x 
DB Lateral Raises - 10lbx12r, 12, 15 
Rear Delt DB Flyes, incline bench - 15lb x 15r 
Wide Grip Lat Pull-down - 55x12, 60lb x10, 60 x10, 65 x10r 
Reverse Grip Pull-Down - 110 x12, 120x10, 130x10 DB Curls - 2s: 15lb x12, 15lbx10, 15lbx20 Rope Bicep Curl: 2 sets, 60 x10r 
Spider Bicep Curl: 2sets, 15lb x 10 
Preacher Curl: 15lb x6, 10lb x20 
Bike Crunch - 3sets x25 
Mountain Climbers - 3sets x30 
Burpees - 3sets x 10

The hi-volume approach is targeting accelerating metabolism ergo fat burn. Awesome! 
I definitely feel it in my shoulders and back right now. :-) 
Happy training, y'all!!!
 ///



Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"Homesick" - Poem by J.Arcila

Homesick

It seems we each made a deal
Sometime before birth, we agreed this is how it will be
This is how I'd like my life to go.

My life,
I'd like to share my time with these folks,
laugh at these times and cry at these others
It should all work in some balance,
Contrary Forces inevitably coexisting.

I chose to live this way.

Sometimes I miss that thing which I cannot name
The other half.
After some time, I am humbled by life experience
such that I no longer crave this mythical thing
that which I never had, the story the movies told.

I've been humbled.

Rather I am longing for a familiar time
A time with loved ones
I know it all too well, thankfully
A moment amongst many moments we have lived and shared.
Joyful, fun, whimsical and sincere instances of being family.

I miss my family
and they miss me too.
How is it we are oceans apart...
And yet so much love?
Ah yes - Contrary forces inevitably coexisting.
The path of life, the journey of the soul

Oh, the contrast really strikes my core,
Like a folk music player stringing familiar cords on his faithful wooden guitar.

The contrast sears my heart and bids me to conjure emotions of wanting and also,

Gratitude

For in the end we have this life to live
A family to love, somewhere
We made our choices well in advance.