Reacting to Bad News with Control & Wisdom - Personal Power Life Coaching

This Life Coaching video is designed to help you cope & handle “Bad News” resourcefully.

• Have you ever received "Bad news"? 
• Can we react to and handle Bad News with Control & Wisdom?💭

We all go through moments in life where we receive “bad” or negative news. Things don’t go our way, a loved one has a health concern, a layoff, a break-up, unpleasant coworker, or any similar situation.

These experiences can feel powerful and grip our attention as something vitally important. As such, our inner wisdom guides us to engage with all of life’s situations and this is where your Personal Power needs to be activated.

Here are some Key Concepts on how to engage with such situations for the greatest wellbeing possible given the circumstances:

 Adopt a new mantra: Mantra of the Moment =  ✋

WAIT & SEE

• Powerful Questions: 
• Are you feeling emotional? 
• What emotions are you feeling? Breathe into these feelings; this breathing PAUSE helps you re-center and avert rash behavior.
• Are you making assumptions? 
• What are the FACTS? 
• Do you need to wait for more information, data or do some research and investigate further?
• Do you need to take immediate action? If yes, then realize this is your new OUTCOME or AIM/GOAL/OBJECTIVE. 
• Identify your new outcome and align with it in to take the best course of action.
• Tip: Hold off before making a conclusion...
• Tip: It is not very helpful to assume without concrete evidence or facts as your thoughts will be based on the unreal. 

NLP Presupposition: THE PERSON WITH THE MOST FLEXIBILITY CONTROLS THE SYSTEM

✰ Recognize that you are upset or disturbed because “it” doesn’t meet your Map of Reality or match your expectations (what if you modified your expectations or Map of Reality?)

✰ Gather your facts; do research.

✰ Wait for the results or for further confirmed details, evidence. Once you have the concrete data you can shift focus onto what you can do, your new outcome (i.e. What do you now want given the information at hand?

✰ Bring yourself into the present moment (Take at least 3 deep, mindful breaths while closing your eyes)

✰ Wait before jumping to Assumptions & Conclusions

✰ Pause before any hasty actions or sudden reactionary behavior

✰ Acknowledge your emotions however do your very best to not identify with them. Give your feelings the space required however avoid impulsive actions based on immediate emotional reactions as these tend to be more dramatic, intense and changeable.

✰ Remember kindness - to yourself. This means not being harsh or judgmental on yourself or others as this only facilitates more troublesome emotions and thought pathways. Be nice to yourself.

It main seem difficult in the moment to remember these ideas, however, you can do this.

An excellent way to develop better coping mechanisms in life overall is to develop a regular Meditation practice & connecting deeply with your Higher Power.

Why is Meditation so useful and germane in this regard? Because Meditation enhances your presence, consciousness and awareness - which is about bringing concentration into the present moment and bringing your powerful mind into focus and calming it down from the raging rivers of thoughts and feelings. Meditating on a regular basis will help you bring more peace into your inner world; it enhances self-control, poise, inner clarity and presence. 

Meditation helps us overcome impulsive and reactionary behavior and helps you become Master of your Self rather than a helpless victim of feelings. Feelings are fleeting, mercurial and fluctuating, and life consistently reveals itself be defined by its diverse and changing currents no matter who you are. So let us use this knowledge to our advantage, let us work with this mutable energy, let us flow with the wisdom of life and our Creator, and allow more aligned living, thinking, and wellbeing. You are meant to be happy, and you deserve the most joyful life you can imagine and even more! :-) 

May we allow the wisdom and love of Spirit to permeate our minds, hearts and souls. 

Would you like to discuss your own Holistic Wellness needs? Your own spiritual queries, self-development and areas for even more Personal Power? I'd love to chat with you.

Message me via Life Coaching Page www.facebook.com/coacharcila and we'll get started.

I hope this helps and see you soon!

Thank you,

Peace, Love & Light
Namaste 🕉☮️☯️💟

Jennifer
Personal Power Life Coaching
www.facebook.com/coacharcila

How fast can you change a thought? - Ways to Enhance Your Personal Power

Have you ever noticed that most of our states of discomfort, displeasure or unease stem from thoughts of corresponding nature, or thoughts that generate these negative states?

When I commenced my journey of self-improvement, self-development and self-strengthening I discovered meditation, holistic healing and various modalities that are designed and intended to enhance our state of mind and thus quality of life. One of the teachers I came across was Byron Katie who pioneered a line of powerful inquiry aptly entitled The Work. Her work has helped millions of people worldwide overcome life's difficulties, tumultuous thoughts, and inner demons.

The reason I bring this up is because she, along with dozens of other empowering figures, Louise Hay for example, have harnessed the power of Self-Awareness by underscoring the notion that:

A thought is only a thought and it can be changed.

If the source of negative emotions, and thus a negative state of mind, is a corresponding thought, and a thought can be changed, then it makes sense to conclude that if we change thoughts to positive/empowering/uplifting/resourceful thoughts we will consequently experience a boosted state of being. 

Thus the question: 

How fast can you change a thought?

There are different factors involved in Thought-Creation and Thought-Change.

Thoughts that we think consistently and repeatedly become a personal mantra and take the shape of a Belief. Beliefs are potent as they shape identity, self-confidence and our map of the world.

Thoughts that are strongly held are suffused with emotion, and emotion that is interlinked with a belief and desire for action is a potent catalyst for change and taking action.

However, not all thoughts are consistently held nor do they all become beliefs.

Some thoughts are fleeting and ephemeral, emerging unexpectedly from random life situations.

Some thoughts generate a positive mood or state, while others can potential have the opposite effect. The latter can be conducive to generating unresourceful states such as fear,doubt, anger, frustration, etc.

The thoughts that combine emotion and consistent "airtime" assume MOMENTUM, and we know how that momentum goes - once you get started it takes a life of its own, and soon enough one thought trails behind the other and it grows exponentially.

This is great for the Positive ones, however not so much for the latter set.

So how do we change the set of thoughts we willingly and readily want to release?

There is no simple, easy or one single answer or technique. Everyone is different and experiences thoughts in different ways depending on the various intrinsic personality traits.

I would like to present and share a nifty NLP + Life Coaching Technique that I have applied in Coaching sessions and on myself which has resulted in great, desired results for the Client. 

It is through the use of SUBMODALITIES and METAPHOR COACHING.

Perhaps you can consider:

- How do you effectively shift unresourceful thoughts?

- What are your trick, tips and techniques?

- What is the main difference in the momentum between your positive thoughts and nnegative thoughts?

- If you could change one thought you think repeatedly that is not serving you, what would that be?

What would be its Counterpart (the opposite thought)?

Powerful questions generate powerful answers.

SUBMODALITIES and METAPHOR COACHING

In NLP, Submodalities are referred to as representational systems or modalities; the Reps systems is basically the way we individually use the five basic senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory. Everyone has a more dominant use of certain reps systems. For instance, some people are more Kinesthetic which means they are more physical and absorb more experience through being involved in physical movement. If you are more visual you will be more impacted by the things you can see (perhaps you've heard the generalization that men are more visual?); some people are more auditory which is evident in musicians and people who are sensitive to changes in tonality and pick up on slight variations in a person's voice. Certainly we are all a combination of these senses however the point is that typically 1 or 2 reps systems will be more dominant.

Thus, if you can actively engage your dominant reps system you can actually generate powerful change in how you experience a situation, memory and, yes, a thought.


Life is a journey; enjoy the unfolding.

How fast can you change a thought? - Ways to Enhance Your Personal Power

Have you ever noticed that most of our states of discomfort, displeasure or unease stem from thoughts of corresponding nature, or thoughts that generate these negative states?

When I commenced my journey of self-improvement, self-development and self-strengthening I discovered meditation, holistic healing and various modalities that are designed and intended to enhance our state of mind and thus quality of life. One of the teachers I came across was Byron Katie who pioneered a line of powerful inquiry aptly entitled The Work. Her work has helped millions of people worldwide overcome life's difficulties, tumultuous thoughts, and inner demons.

The reason I bring this up is because she, along with dozens of other empowering figures, Louise Hay for example, have harnessed the power of Self-Awareness by underscoring the notion that:

A thought is only a thought and it can be changed.

If the source of negative emotions, and thus a negative state of mind, is a corresponding thought, and a thought can be changed, then it makes sense to conclude that if we change thoughts to positive/empowering/uplifting/resourceful thoughts we will consequently experience a boosted state of being. 

Thus the question: 

How fast can you change a thought?

There are different factors involved in Thought-Creation and Thought-Change.

Thoughts that we think consistently and repeatedly become a personal mantra and take the shape of a Belief. Beliefs are potent as they shape identity, self-confidence and our map of the world.

Thoughts that are strongly held are suffused with emotion, and emotion that is interlinked with a belief and desire for action is a potent catalyst for change and taking action.

However, not all thoughts are consistently held nor do they all become beliefs.

Some thoughts are fleeting and ephemeral, emerging unexpectedly from random life situations.

Some thoughts generate a positive mood or state, while others can potential have the opposite effect. The latter can be conducive to generating unresourceful states such as fear,doubt, anger, frustration, etc.

The thoughts that combine emotion and consistent "airtime" assume MOMENTUM, and we know how that momentum goes - once you get started it takes a life of its own, and soon enough one thought trails behind the other and it grows exponentially.

This is great for the Positive ones, however not so much for the latter set.

So how do we change the set of thoughts we willingly and readily want to release?

There is no simple, easy or one single answer or technique. Everyone is different and experiences thoughts in different ways depending on the various intrinsic personality traits.

I would like to present and share a nifty NLP + Life Coaching Technique that I have applied in Coaching sessions and on myself which has resulted in great, desired results for the Client. 

It is through the use of SUBMODALITIES and METAPHOR COACHING.

Perhaps you can consider:

- How do you effectively shift unresourceful thoughts?

- What are your trick, tips and techniques?

- What is the main difference in the momentum between your positive thoughts and nnegative thoughts?

- If you could change one thought you think repeatedly that is not serving you, what would that be?

What would be its Counterpart (the opposite thought)?

Powerful questions generate powerful answers.

SUBMODALITIES and METAPHOR COACHING

In NLP, Submodalities are referred to as representational systems or modalities; the Reps systems is basically the way we individually use the five basic senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory. Everyone has a more dominant use of certain reps systems. For instance, some people are more Kinesthetic which means they are more physical and absorb more experience through being involved in physical movement. If you are more visual you will be more impacted by the things you can see (perhaps you've heard the generalization that men are more visual?); some people are more auditory which is evident in musicians and people who are sensitive to changes in tonality and pick up on slight variations in a person's voice. Certainly we are all a combination of these senses however the point is that typically 1 or 2 reps systems will be more dominant.

Thus, if you can actively engage your dominant reps system you can actually generate powerful change in how you experience a situation, memory and, yes, a thought.


Life is a journey; enjoy the unfolding.

Supercharge Your Resources - NLP Process for Personal Power

I recently conducted a Life Coaching session which was great fun and which generated important insights for the Client. The Client experienced key personal realizations and discovered empowering resources that had been dormant inside of her.

There was valuable learning for both Client and Coach particularly on the subject of Personal Resources.

Life is a vast ocean of possibilities.

What is a Resource anyway?

• A supply of something (such as money) that someone has and can use when it is needed; a place or thing that provides something useful. Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online 

• "Anything that helps a person or group reach a desired state or transform a problem state," (NLP University Press).

• A resource is a tool of sorts; your assets, strengths, capabilities.

We can consider resources as tools in the toolkit of self-awareness, identity and behavior. Resources influence beliefs, self-talk, attitudes, and behavior.Ultimately, a person's resources (tools) are the vital components used to find solutions, solve problems, and surpass the myriad of life's rollercoaster moments.  Having a clear understanding of our great internal resources can empower a person's sense of confidence and resourcefulness - an "I can do it" mindset.

Similarly, there may be resources you want to develop and strengthen as you know they are currently weak in yourself and which would be great assets in helping you achieve your goals. For instance, some resources people typically wish to improve upon include:

• Being assertive
• Self-Confident
• Visionary
• Effective communicator 
• Punctual
• Disciplined
• Consistent
• Flexible
• Courageous
• Committed
• Spontaneous
• And more...

Strengthening the Resources That Work For You

As the session progressed the Client identified some wonderful new resources she recently uncovered; of these new resources she chose 1 that was especially potent in improving her sense of self-appreciation, positive thinking and personal empowerment.

In order to further deepen and strengthen this wonderful new asset, we applied the Resource Supercharger Process (created by Robert Dilts), which is designed to embed this recently developed resource more richly for the person and thus ensure it can reliably support the person moving forward in life.

If this technique piques your interest, you can learn about the Resource Supercharger Process at: http://nlpuniversitypress.com/html3/R68.html.

The Resource Supercharger Process

Below I present a broad overview of the process and how it can yield potentially life-boosting results for the Client. We take Self-Compassion as a resource someone would like to enrich as it is integral to healthy self-esteem, well-being, and personal satisfaction.

The Process:

Starting in the present day, you identify the New Resource you want to strengthen and you fully associate with the emotions, actions and thoughts that stem from knowing you have this resource within you. Feel completely who and how you are possessing this resource.

Once done associating with it, you take 1 step forward into your imagined future. Over the time that passed leading to that future point, the resource has enhanced, strengthened and deepened further bringing you to the Future You with that life experience.

In this future, you experience the resource as having gotten stronger. You then imagine and associate with who you are in the future with this magnificent resource that strengthened over time.

For example, Self-Compassion having enriched over time leads to a Future You that is more assertive, confident and appreciative of self; you may value your time more, prioritize your happiness, and say "No" when appropriate in diplomatic, respectful ways.

You then step back into the Present and look over your future seeing how this resource influenced your behavior. In that Present moment, you then assume you have that deepened resource from the future actually in your Present. You then associate yourself fully with how you would live with this boosted resource Today. 

From the Present You to the Future You - You are helping yourself i.e. You have all the answers within already.

You then re-step into the future and in the Future You this resource has enriched even beyond what it strengthened in the first step - it is now supercharged!
You can associate fully in the Future You and how you would be assuming you have lived your life with this deepened resource.

In other words, you take the enhancement you experienced from the deepened resource in the first round, and then double it or even triple it in the second round. The point is to saturate yourself with the total absorption of having this resource in your self and life, and feel who you would be with that revved-up resource.


We finish by stepping back into the present and looking forward into the future to see how life will evolve now with this new knowledge and expanding resource.

This nicely highlights 2 valuable NLP Presuppositions: 

(i) we have all the resources within us already

(ii) no one is fixed or broken

In closing...

As the session came to a close it was clear that applying NLP techniques can generate tremendous clarity, satisfaction and awareness about how truly great we can be when we decide to focus on our strengths;

We stretch the boundaries of our unlimited potential;

We consider who we want to be, 

And we give ourselves the opportunity to imagine.

-Jen xx